Seven Quick Takes

As you can tell, John and I took turns this week. The first one is mine, the second one is his. The third one is mine, fourth is his. You get the picture.

1) This conversation actually happened:

Me: Leroy (my mom’s crazy sun conure) is insane! He’s always hitting his head up against the aviary. He’s crazy!!! You need to get rid of him, mom.

Bridget: Well of course he’s crazy! He was smothered.

Me: He was? When was he smothered? Who smothered him?

Bridget: yeah! That’s why he was so cheap! Mom and Dad got him on the side of the road or something because he was smothered into the country.

 

2) A neutron walks into a bar. “How much for a drink?” he asks. “For you? No charge!”

 

3) I took my 7th grade class picture in a denim shirt and a tie. And in case you went back to do the “every other” counting to see if this entry was John, you read it right: I, Molly, wore a tie in my seventh grade picture. My best friend, Kelly West, wore a denim shirt and a tie too. Long story short, I looked just like my MALE best friend in our 7th grade pictures. Awesome.

 

4)

 

5) I have an iPhone 3. I had an iPhone 4 but John stole it from me because he’s the one in a technology job so it made more sense that he have the nice phone. Plus, before I got it, I had a crappy old phone. So an iPhone 3 is better than no iPhone, right? Actually, no. Especially after being introduced to the beauty and speed that is the iPhone 4. When John gave me the 3, I kept telling him, “I think something is wrong with this phone!” I’d only ever had an iPhone 4 before that so I didn’t realize that the 3 is actually a piece of crap. It infuriates me how long it takes to even pull up the screen to make a simple phone call. This video really is accurate:

 

6)

7) I got hosed on my end of these Quick Takes. John didn’t even write anything!!! And he only got 3. No fairsies! Have a great weekend everyone! And a WONDERFUL Labor Day. I will NOT be laboring on Monday so don’t keep your hopes up for a blog post.

Happy Anniversary!

Nine years ago today, my big sister was the first in our family to get hitched. As any good sister would be, I was a remarkable Maid of Honor. Except not at all. Not even a little.

You see, there are 4 girls in our family. Not EVERYONE could be the maid of honor. So what did we do when the oldest got engaged? We drew straws. And whoever won got to be Meghan’s maid of honor. The two sisters who were left over would be each other’s maids of honor. Nevermind the fact that one of us was in college, one of us was in high school, and one of us was in middle school. Never mind the fact that Bridget and I both lived in Texas and Browyn and Meghan both lived in Nebraska. Sure! Take the risk that a 12 year old may be the maid of honor! Don’t use logic and choose the sister who is actually 21 and may be able to throw a halfway decent bachelorette party….not to mention the fact that the bride lived in Nebraska and the only qualified sister also lived in Nebraska. So you guessed it peeps: I drew the winning straw and, at 16 and from 1000 miles away, I was the worst maid of honor ever. Clearly, I couldn’t throw a Bridal Shower. Obviously, a bachelorette party was out of the picture. Help with the wedding? But I had to make time to read Of Mice and Men! GET REAL!

I ended up throwing a “bachelorette” party the night before the wedding that, shockingly, none of Meghan’s friends wanted to attend. How dare they! I spend all my hard-earned allowance money on nail polish! We were going to paint each other’s nails. In our hotel room. Which was right next door to my parent’s hotel room. It would be a killer time!

Meghan, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was a terrible maid of honor. But hey, it could have been worse! You could have gotten Bridget! And nobody likes a bouquet thrown at them on their wedding day.

And at least I looked real hot being your maid of honor. I mean, look at those wispy tendrils of honorness just hanging out on my face. Those things scream “maid of honor!” And you know you love holding my hand and looking longingly into my eyes.  And hey, why can’t I see our pretty nails that we polished up real  nice at your ragin’ bachelorette party? And my nice pale skin? Mmm hmm sister. You done chose real good. Or, rather, the straw did.

The Many Names of Jack

A few days ago, I was reading Astrid’s blog about her sweet little Tilly and came across this gem: There's a Danish saying I love, "Kaere barn har mange navne," which means "A well-loved child has many names." It was funny to read that because John and I always talk about how many names we have for Jack. Reading that phrase made me think, “That’s perfect!” because it is so very true. So for those of you who get bored of the baby posts, you’ll hate this one. I apologize in advance. For those of you who love the baby posts, you’re welcome.

His birth name is John Robert. We call him Jack. He’s our:

Jackaroo

Mr. Man

Jackster

Jack O Lantern

Mr. Wide Awake

Senor Stinky Pants

Mr. Blue Eyes

Handsome Guy

Smashy Face

Mr. Bipolar

Jackson

Pukey Pants

Drooley McGee

Fussy Face

 

Sweet Boy

…and those are only the ones we’ve called him today.

Ten On Tuesday

1. Pretend it’s Monday morning–take us through a day in the life of you.

Well, you’re about to be bored stiff. I wake up around 5:30 when Jack starts crying. I go in the kitchen and get his medicine ready. Come back and grab him out of the crib and put him in bed next to John and give him his medicine. I lay next to him until he falls back asleep (lying next to his Dad ALWAYS makes him fall back asleep) and take a shower. I do my makeup and wake John up to get ready. I lay next to Jack for awhile until John is ready to come in the bedroom and keep an eye on him. I get dressed, kiss my boys and leave. I get to work, drink a cup of coffee, and read and review contracts all day long. Sometimes I have meetings and other boring stuff in there too. Eat a lean cuisine or something similar at my desk around noon. Look at the clock around 4 and think, “One more hour!” I check my messages/pictures from Laura (the nanny) throughout the day. Get home around 5:30 and hang out with Jack and Laura for about 20 minutes chatting and playing. Laura leaves and I get dinner started. About 20 minutes later, John comes home and we eat dinner on the living room floor while playing with Jack. Then we play some more or go on a walk. Give Jack a bath at 7:30 and then take him into his room for his last bottle. John feeds him while I sit next to them. Then I hold Jack and pray with him and sing to him for a little while until he’s almost asleep. (My wonderful husband does all the dishes during this time) I put Jack in his crib and on this Monday night, I came in the office and did a blog entry. EXCITEMENT, huh? Now you can all lift your heads off your keyboard and move onto the next question.

2. What’s your favorite reality tv show?

Teen Mom! Or Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood.

3. What motto do you live by?

Depends on the day, honestly. Lately it’s been, “Thy will be done.”

4. If you knew could you try anything and not fail, what dream would you attempt?

This is embarrassing to admit—but I’d probably want to act. I wouldn’t want to have all the pressure of the craptastic Hollywood lifestyle. But man would I love to be in movies or a good TV show.

5. What was your first job?

Receptionist/Shot Clinic Assistant at an Allergy/Asthma clinic. We dealt with lots of kids with food and other allergies. Please believe I’m about to cash in on all my good, hard $5/hour work by bringing Jack to Dr. E here soon and having him help me figure out what all my kiddo is allergic to.

6. What is your current job?

Assistant General Counsel of a company. Basically, I’m an attorney for a company so anytime someone in the company has legal issues, needs contracts reviewed, wants to see if we can sue someone, etc., I’m their woman.

7. What would you call yourself if you could choose your own name (and you cannot pick the one you already have)?

Probably Maggie because it’s the only thing people have consistently called me by mistake. Although when I was really little, I loved the name Andrea. Long “A” Andrea (Glovinnia, you know what I’m talking about!!!). I once loved it so much that I prayed really hard that my name would be Aaaaaahndrea. I had a little “Molly” sign that Danny Sampson made for me and one night, I put it in my drawer and prayed that my name could change to Andrea. I woke up in the morning so excited! I ran over to my drawer and pulled out my sign and…it still said Molly!!!!!! I couldn’t believe it! God didn’t change my name even though I prayed SOOOO hard! Sheesh!

8. What musical instruments can you play?

None really. I played the flute for a semester in 6th grade and then switched to the drums. I played the drums in for 2.5 years. Now I can’t really do anything except a drumroll. When we got to the trap set, I was kind of terrible. I was on permanent Timpani duty.

9. Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Forgive. I can forgive very easily but I have a tougher time forgetting about things when I get hurt. They just pop up into my stupid little head and I can’t let go of them easily.

10. What is one food you’d never want to taste again?

Gefilte Fish.