On Not Being Pregnant

For some reason, I’ve been thinking alot (yes, “alot”) about not being pregnant. I keep staring at Jack and all of the things he is discovering (chief among them is saying, “Ma Ma” and melting my heart each time. Even if he does say it to John. And his bottle. And his pacifier.) and I am just in absolute amazement that he went from this:

to this:

to this:

And every time I see a pregnant woman, I can’t help but think how amazing it is that she has this very same life (well, not the VERY same life…but you get the point) inside of her. And I know lots of ladies who are in all sorts of “with child” right now. And I hear them talk about it and you know what? As much as I HATED and I mean HATED being pregnant. There are things I miss. I miss being able to eat anything and everything with reckless abandon (if you’re not of the camp that this is okay while pregnant, guess what? I don’t care! I did it and I have one of the strongest, smartest babies I’ve ever seen! That and I lost all but 8 pounds and I’m only 5 months out. So shutty.), I miss feeling him kick and know that nobody else knows that it’s happening but me and Jack, I miss learning the patterns of his movement. And let’s be honest here people, I miss the attention. When you’re pregnant, you’re the center of attention. And I like attention. Why else would I have my own little corner of the internet dedicated solely to my life?

Then there are things I don’t miss. I don’t miss having my face go from

this:

to this:HOLY YOWZAS!!!!

I don’t miss having my feet swell up so much that they looked like sausages and even walking was painful for fear that they may quite possibly pop like water balloons. I don’t miss the impossibility of sleep (not that much has changed on that front). I don’t miss all the fun indigestional side effects. But here I am with a five month old somehow finding myself thinking, “it wouldn’t be SO bad if I got pregnant again.” Here I am. A girl who, one year ago, thought, “How did I get myself into this? How in the world are we going to be able to be parents right now?” to me: a mother of a 5 month old with all sorts of little quirky issues, with a more than full time job, a mortgage, a husband, and thinking, “Eh, so what if I get knocked up?” AM I CRAZY?  Yes. Yes I am.

Don’t worry folks. It won’t happen any time soon. Right now, our babies are Jack, our mortgage, and my student loans. We need to get rid of that pesky third one before any other babies can come into the picture. But isn’t it funny how I was so miserable when I was this:

Yet I’d become the next flippin’ Michelle Duggar if it meant I got to fill my life with more of these:

Sometimes I think that career-minded, “I’m going to be a high-powered attorney and I’ll worry about kids if and when they happen” Molly would have a heart attack if she read this blog post. I think my own husband might too…I haven’t exactly told him that I want a million babies now. I think that the birth control aisle may be sold out about 10 minutes after John reads this post. Eh. Whatevs.