Our Life As a Reality Show

I’m pretty in love with reality shows. Not all reality shows, mind you. Just a handful.

I love Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. I got really into it after I had Jack and I was up all hours of the night and it was the only thing on. I am also a big fan of Teen Mom. I sit there watching these shows and I’m just AMAZED at how entertaining their lives are. Granted, Tori and Dean are famous so that helps. Red carpets and movie premieres are sure to make life more exciting. And teen motherhood is interesting…especially if you’re completely dysfunctional like Farrah. Or even better, an absolute nutjob like Amber.

But it got me thinking…what would OUR lives be like if we had a reality show?

We’d have fun scenes like us laughing hysterically when Jack pukes on one of us right AFTER changing clothes. Oh man! That’s comedy there. Or maybe real dramatic scenes like when Jack starts crying and I’m in bed and John comes into the room and says, “Can you take care of him?” And I ask, “Why can’t you? I’m asleep?” And he says, “Molly! I’m playing Starcraft! WITH REID!!!!” Yeah, maritial problems are good television. Or maybe intense scenes like when John washes the bottle for the 2nd time in a row and I say, “No, I’ll wash them. You just did it. And he pushes me away and says, “Don’t be silly. I can do them again.” Nothing like a little physical violence.

Or maybe we can do a scene all about our exciting weekends of autoposting blog entries, doing laundry, vacuuming, and playing with our son. Oh yeah. That’s television, folks.

Or maybe the camera could just explore our home and see all the exciting things we do. Like the time I walked in the office and found this sitting on the desk:

 Me: "What is that?”

John: “The RSVP to Pat’s wedding that I never sent in.”

Me: “The wedding is in St. Louis. We bought tickets to it. We managed to buy plane tickets but we didn’t send in the RSVP? The pre addressed, pre stamped RSVP?”

John: “Right. I facebooked him though.”

Me: “Well what’s written all over it?”

John: “Oh, I was just practicing something.”

Me: “Practicing what?”

John: “I just wanted to see how bad I could write.”

Me: “What?"

John: “Like Handwriting. I just wanted to see how bad I could make my handwriting. I can write pretty bad.”

Yeah folks. That’d be one for the sweeps books there. Okay, E! Television. I’ll await your call.