What’s in a Name?

Last week I was doing some research for work. I was trying to find out the name of someone and I came across a website that I thought might bring me to a link about him. It didn’t.

Instead it was a website all about the origins of names. There are some names I know the origins and meanings of.

For instance, on more than one occasion, John has informed me that his name means “God’s Gift” and that that has worked out really well for me…you know, the receiver of that gift. He’s humble. I also know this because I prefer the other meaning of it when thinking about my son, “God is Gracious.” It really sums up how Jack came into our life. Here we had this whole plan of our lives and God, in His AMAZING Graciousness, interceded His plan. Which rocked. Way more than ours. He could have been all Grandma on us and asked us, “What do you want?” And when we responded, “The new Power Ranger toy!” he would have gotten it for us even though He knew that we would hate it in a year and it would probably be broken before that anyway….

But no. He was all, “No no. That toy sucks. You just don’t know it. Let me give you this awesome matchbox car that will hold up like woah and will be worth a million dollars in a few decades because it’s vintage. And everyone loves vintage.”

Maybe not QUITE like that but you get the picture. The picture is: Jack is awesome and God is Gracious.

Jack’s middle name, Robert, means “Bright Fame.” John’s middle name, “Udell” means, “That middle name is hilarious!” (John said he is offended by that. But I left it. Because that’s what a marriage is all about.)

Our first girl will be named, Christine. The meaning of that little gem? “Follower of Christ.” YES PLEASE!

So that, of course, brings us to my name. Molly. I used to think it meant, “Name of Dog” but apparently it doesn’t. Why did I think this? Because it seems like everyone and their mom (appropriate, eh Chelsea?) names their dog “Molly.” I mean it! It’s like the #2 most popular dog name! MY NAME! This is just not right. I love my name. Stop naming dogs that! I’ve been bitter about this for a very long time.

Which is apparently appropriate. Because I recently learned that my name? Yeah. It means “Sea of Bitterness”. Awesome. Well I wasn’t satisfied with this definition so I did some more snooping. And I found these fun little explanations on a very reliable website called “Urban Dictionary”

Molly: Pure Form of Ecstasy sold in capsules. It is the real deal, not what you will usually receive in a common E pill on the streets these days.

Awesome! I’m so exciting I’m like a drug!!! And the real deal, no less!

Molly: a very beautiful girl, also thought of as perfect, very athletic, and fun to be around, she is smart, and is loved by many, she has low-self confidence, but doesn't realize that people think very highly of her, she is amazing in every way, and has a b**** for a sister.

Hmm….they may be onto something there. Beautiful, fun to be around…I like this better than “sea of bitterness”…But which sister could they be talking about there at the end?

Molly: Extremely Hilarious person. Very good listener. Loves melted cheese sandwiches.

I do! I DO LOVE MELTED CHEESE SANDWICHES!!!

Molly: Every Molly loves a good youtube video, so post one on her wall. Don't be shy around Molly, no worries just take your friends phone away and say something random. For instance "I heard you weren't awkward".

Ah, Taryn Peine. I knew we were meant to be friends over our shared love of youtube videos.

Molly: they're known for "krill-ness" but don't smoke mary jane. they wear skinny jeans, but don't follow the "scenester guidlines."

It’s true. I don’t smoke the Mary Jane. But I am not really sure what the rest of this means.

Molly: a type of girl who wears really cool sweaters.

Ain’t that the truth! I was rocking my mom’s High School Homecoming Queen sweater just this past weekend!

Molly: a girl with a HUGE NOSE!!!!

Well, I guess I DO have a honker.

Molly: a girl who is very hyper, likes to have fun, and is usually the coolest small fry ever. molly's are usually short, and usually have bestfriends named sarah or occasionally alyssa....or maybe even......rachel. but the best is sarah...molly's are so freaking awesome, and sometimes dance really randomly in public and scream when neccesary. molly's also like to put yoga mats on their heads and run back and forth screaming that she is a superhero or batman...either way they are amazing and they rock more than a rockstar...yeah.

Okay. Now this is just getting a little strange.

Molly: Slang for the word "moltov coctail," which is a bottle filled with flammable alcohol with a rag sticking out of it. This rag is then lit on fire and the molly is thrown, such that when the bottle hits the ground, glass flies everywhere along with a huge burst of flames.

I’ll have you know that I have NEVER burst into flames.

Molly: the name for an alcoholic who falls out of bed in the morning, rarely showers, and can name the entire Del Taco menu off the top of their head. a derogatory term for a moocher. will feed off of other people's food as though it were their own. the worst roommate in the world

Wait. What?

Molly: A regional term for a young person who dresses very unfashionably. Used mainly in North East England.

I mean. I know my wardrobe isn’t amazing post-baby but…come on…I’m not that bad. Am I?

Molly: A person, as a psychopathic personality, whose behavior is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience. A person who presents with these types of behaviors: Persistent lying or stealing, Superficial charm,  Apparent lack of remorse, or empathy; inability to care about hurting others,  Inability to make or keep friends, or maintain relationships such as marriage.

Well now this is even worse than Sea of Bitterness!

 

So there ya have it, friends. I’m an unfashionable, psychopathic sea of bitterness who apparently runs around with yoga mats on my head while wearing awesome sweaters and having a naughty word for a sister. Hmm…not quite sure how accurate that is. But really. What’s in a name?