Nine years ago today, my big sister was the first in our family to get hitched. As any good sister would be, I was a remarkable Maid of Honor. Except not at all. Not even a little.
You see, there are 4 girls in our family. Not EVERYONE could be the maid of honor. So what did we do when the oldest got engaged? We drew straws. And whoever won got to be Meghan’s maid of honor. The two sisters who were left over would be each other’s maids of honor. Nevermind the fact that one of us was in college, one of us was in high school, and one of us was in middle school. Never mind the fact that Bridget and I both lived in Texas and Browyn and Meghan both lived in Nebraska. Sure! Take the risk that a 12 year old may be the maid of honor! Don’t use logic and choose the sister who is actually 21 and may be able to throw a halfway decent bachelorette party….not to mention the fact that the bride lived in Nebraska and the only qualified sister also lived in Nebraska. So you guessed it peeps: I drew the winning straw and, at 16 and from 1000 miles away, I was the worst maid of honor ever. Clearly, I couldn’t throw a Bridal Shower. Obviously, a bachelorette party was out of the picture. Help with the wedding? But I had to make time to read Of Mice and Men! GET REAL!
I ended up throwing a “bachelorette” party the night before the wedding that, shockingly, none of Meghan’s friends wanted to attend. How dare they! I spend all my hard-earned allowance money on nail polish! We were going to paint each other’s nails. In our hotel room. Which was right next door to my parent’s hotel room. It would be a killer time!
Meghan, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was a terrible maid of honor. But hey, it could have been worse! You could have gotten Bridget! And nobody likes a bouquet thrown at them on their wedding day.
And at least I looked real hot being your maid of honor. I mean, look at those wispy tendrils of honorness just hanging out on my face. Those things scream “maid of honor!” And you know you love holding my hand and looking longingly into my eyes. And hey, why can’t I see our pretty nails that we polished up real nice at your ragin’ bachelorette party? And my nice pale skin? Mmm hmm sister. You done chose real good. Or, rather, the straw did.
3 Comments:
HA! Yall's sister stories crack me up. Who doesn't want a sleepover bachelorette party? You didn't bring Girl Talk? It would have been HILARIOUS to cover the bride to be in zit stickers!!
It wasn't that bad. You're right that Browyn may have been the logical choice based on location and age, but I couldn't break any of your heart by having to choose someone. It was just too hard! And you can see my thumb nail is painted clear. We decided to go with clear to draw less attention to my short nails from all the years of biting them.
I would like to make a few corrections to this post. I was 18, not 21. I am only 2 years older than you, Molly, not 5....
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When Meghan got engaged I was a senior in High School & was living in Texas, not Nebraska.
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You forgot to mention we had dinner at Valentinos before the makeover party! WOO HOOO!
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