What the Google Has to Say

So every once in a while, it’s fun to check out Google Analytics and see what kind of traffic is driving this here blog.

FIRST OF ALL, our readership is down 10%. 10%!!!! I didn’t even know that you could put 2 readers into percentages of less than 50! This is super exciting! Apparently one of my 2 readers stopped letting one of her arms see the computer screen or something.

Second of all, I’m disturbed at some of the results.

--It appears that 4 people found our blog by searching for “Adult Swaddle.” As in, how to swaddle an adult. As in, what the heck?

--One person searched for “How to Swaddle a Dog.” If there is one thing more disturbing than swaddling an adult, it would be swaddling a dog.

--One person found us by searching for “Peony Village Omaha Bed Bugs.” NOOO! Peony Village was the best apartment EVER and I REFUSE to believe that they have bed bugs. And how the heck did that string of words lead you here? I don’t think I’ve ever talked about bed bugs. Let alone in the context of the greatest apartment ever.

--One person searched for “Pecan Street Festival Austin.” Surely they were disappointed when all they got about that was information regarding a mean old woman who would tell you that your baby was getting sunburned. (By the way, how did I NOT tell you guys about the woman at that festival who asked us for money and when we replied that we had none, she said "Stop raping me and sucking my (naughty word)” Taken aback, I responded, “What?” and she said, “How was your trip to New York?” Umm…WHAT?!?!?!?!)

--Another apparent traffic source? Searching for “Strange cigarette smell? Wasps nest?”

--THREE people found us by looking for Jodie Leibee…the name of the woman down the street from me when I was growing up. And honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned her on the blog. So how did 3 people find our blog by searching for her?

--One rare find? “Boobmilking” Awesome.

--One person found me by searching for Taryn Peine. This isn’t her blog, in case you were wondering, Mr. Google Searcher. Perhaps the lack of humor and no apparent theme already tipped you off on that one.

--This one is sad, “Failed out of law school. Encouragement for her.” eek! Sorry! The encouragement I have for her? At least she won’t be in a million dollars of debt in an oversaturated market of lawyers with approximately 10 open jobs in the entire country.

--WHAT THE HECK? “How do female mandarin ducks get pregnant?” How the HECK did that one lead you to this website? You had to be shocked to think that you were going to find out how female ducks get pregnant only to learn all about the boring lives of the Campbells

Well, our readership may be down by 10% but so long as I keep writing about random stuff, apparently the Google will keep sending ‘em my way.