Because The Sims Are People Too!

I'm not too proud to admit that I used to be hooked on the Sims. I don't mean "hooked" like I am on King of Queens where I watch a couple episodes every night while dozing off to sleep and if I happen to give up TV for Lent, I find it absolutely impossible to fall asleep...and that when I accidentally cooked two pieces of bacon together, my first thought was, "Doug Heffernan would be SO excited!!" No, I don't mean that kind of hooked. I mean the real kind. The kind where I found myself waking up at 7 am and maybe, just maybe, skipping Economics 201 a time or two because I had a life to lead...a virtual life. On The Sims.

Ah yes, when The Sims came out, I was obsessed. I'd play for 2-3 hours every day, tweaking my characters and making sure that they fell in love, made lots of money, and didn't set their house on fire. And, of course, it was essential that my Sim always married the next door neighbor...Sergio Garcia...who happened to be a professional golfer...from Spain. It was just a coincidence, of course. Luckily, my little Sims obsession didn't last long. Just a few weeks after finding it necessary to make my Sims lead the best life, I found that it was even more entertaining to see how I could kill them. You know, starve them, make them light off fireworks inside and burn their house down, have them go swimming in the backyard pool and then take all the ladders out so they drowned. After killing my Sims for a couple days, I realized that I may or may not have a problem. So I stopped. Cold Turkey. Just like that.

But I did play long enough that The Sims got into my head. And I'd find myself thinking in "Sim-Think." For example, every time I would get hungry, I felt like waving my arms in the air and telling my creator, "I'm hungry!" via thought bubble. And if I was tired? Well that was time to wave my hands in the air and tell the Creator to either give me a bed or give me food. I needed my energy bar to go back to green. It wasn't long before I realized that my Creator wasn't a 17 year old Molly--and my Creator didn't just make food appear when I was hungry. I actually had to make my own choices. Funny, huh? Before long, my silly Sim thoughts disappeared.

But not everyone was so lucky. Some people don't just stop playing these interactive "life" games after a couple weeks. As a matter of fact, when searching for a picture of a Sim "telling their Creator" they are hungry, I found numerous blogs...devoted JUST to people's Sims. It's like Considering Campbell except instead of keeping our Nebraska friends and family updated on what we are up to as Texans, it's updating the world on what their fake people are up to. Ah yes, not everyone has such willpower to stop Cold Turkey like I did. This must be what it's like to be Charlie Sheen. Just blink and you're not addicted anymore. That's me. I just blinked. No more virtual world for me. I should write books, I could make millions. 

Anyway, last night as we were driving home from my parent's house, Jack was screaming from absolute exhaustion. It was 8 pm...30 minutes past bath time. He knew it. And he wasn't happy. He'd just eaten the biggest dinner I've probably ever seen him eat and as we got in the car, he would not stop crying. I knew that he was tired but what could I do? We were still 5 minutes away from our house. And we live in a pacifier free zone now so sticking the binky in his mouth wasn't an option. So I did what any mother would do. I gave him food. As he grabbed the animal cracker and shoved it into his mouth, I told John, "I cannot believe he is eating this. I thought he'd be stuffed after that dinner." There was a short pause before John chimed in, "Well, his Sim is probably saying "Give me food or give me sleep." He just needs his energy bar to go back to green...since we won't let him sleep, he's doing it with food." 

And that's when I knew: John and I were meant to be. Okay, I knew that a long time ago...but this confirmed it..again. Nothing like knowing that somewhere, 8 years ago there was a boy making his little virtual dude fall in love with the girl down the street...Molly...who was a pre-law student...from Texas. Thank goodness my real Creator listened to John's Sim plan instead of mine. I look much better in a Cardinals baseball cap than in a Titleist golf hat any day.