Just Be Yourself. Only Taller.

I have a confession to make. There are quite a few things I’ve never experienced in my life. I’ve never had a guy buy me a drink. I’ve never been asked for my phone number. I’ve never smoked a doobie (are they still calling it that?). And I’ve never been on a girls weekend.

Scratch that last one. Because after this weekend, I have been on a “girl’s weekend.” And I’m fairly certain that it made up for all those spring breaks spent at speech tournaments while the other girls were on trips together.

A few months ago, Chelsea invited me to her annual besties “Glamazon weekend.” I’d heard rumors of Glamazon weekend. The weekend once a year where Chelsea gets together with her besties for a weekend at the beach. They have a lovely weekend filled with Thoughts & Feelings, Food & Beverage, and Beauty & Height.  A 5’6 former speech geek probably wouldn’t fit in with a bunch of besties who know and love each other all while standing tall and looking like Barbie and going by the moniker “Glamazon.” But whatever. My Nine West pumps are practically an extension of my body. And surely they’d embrace me into their group. I’d just have to be myself. Only taller.

The weekend was fantastic. The girls made me feel right at home in their group (even though we did miss Lyndsey—no, I’ve never met her but yes, I feel like I know her after hearing everyone rave about how awesome she is).

Kelly & Chelsea

Molly & Lauren

Shortly after I first arrived, Lauren and I embarked on a 30 minute car ride to Kroger…that ended up being about a mile away (darn you google maps!!). But it gave us some time to talk about the important things in life—like how her dad from Louisiana would be shocked that I’d never eaten a crawfish. As we walked out of the grocery store, wouldn’t you know it? They were having a crawfish boil right outside. And Lauren’s sweet little, “This girl has never had a crawfish” spoken in her Texas twang got us a few crawfish to try (at no charge, of course).

We ate some amazing food and Kelly and Lauren reignited my love for sunny-side-up eggs. Lauren fulfilled my dreams of having a burger with a fried egg on top and pretty much dished up heaven on a plate when she added guacamole and crispy bacon to the mix. Kelly made these amazing egg benedict things with eggs and roasted red pepper and spinach and…well, I’ll just stop there. I don’t need to make you jealous.

We spent a lovely amount of time on the beach where Lauren and Kelly auditioned for a scene in the remake of Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” (those seagulls can see a stray pringle from a mile away!) and where I got the worst sunburn known to man (despite it being overcast and me applying SPF 30 every hour).

And let me tell you, there’s something about spending the weekend with a bunch of lovely ladies. Apparently when a group of tall, lovely women (plus this shorty) walk down the street together, men think it’s appropriate to yell out their car windows. And they may or may not be shocked at one of the women yelling back, “I’M A MOTHER!!!” At one point, a man thought that it was a good idea to just pull up a chair in the restaurant and sit with us at dinner. And Lauren thought it a good idea to tell him what for. And, of course, I attract the men too. Like that 17 year old socially-awkward waiter who decided to spill ice water all over me at dinner. Ah yes, my crispy red skin sang its siren song from across the restaurant patio—he couldn’t resist. And my natural reaction to having ice water all over me? “Don’t worry, it felt good on my legs.” I left that 17 year old (who had no idea that my legs were sunburned to a tomato-like redness) scratching his head for hours and planning to spill water all over all the ladies at Galveston High because that weird girl at his restaurant said she liked it.

I came away from this weekend with some important takeaways:

1. Apparently some people are actually so pale that the sun doesn’t care if there is an insane amount of SPF on the skin. It just NEEDS to get some color on that epidermis—for the sake of the onlookers blinded by the white. I am one of those people.

2. Drinking out of a straw at a sideways angle will ALWAYS be funny.

3. Staying in a big old house with 2 other girls who are as paranoid as I am about creepers breaking in is not a good idea if you intend on falling asleep at any point in time. Thank goodness Chelsea was the voice of reason.

4. Seagulls are vicious. VICIOUS. And they WILL poop on you. Although having 3 or 4 fewer inches of leg real estate than the 3 girls next to you does decrease your odds of having the poop land on you.

5. Apparently I have a Nebraska accent. Who knew? Truth be told, I think all these Texans just have sweet little Southern Drawls but hey…I’ve always wanted an accent so I’ll take what I can get!

6. These girls are some of the sweetest ladies on this side of the Pecos. And I am so darn glad to have had the chance to spent the weekend with them.

By the way, you should all head over to LfT and thank her for letting me steal all my pictures since I didn’t bring a camera this weekend. And I’m sure that Chelsea will have some pictures up too. And honestly, you should read their blogs anyway. They are the real kind of blogger. I’m just the fake kind. But it doesn’t matter…because I’m a Glamazon, y’all!